Tag Archive for: saying no

My Radio Interview About The Power Of No

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I used to be a yes person. I would agree to every meeting, networking event, guest blog post opportunity – everything.

I truly believe that the more you said yes to things the more good it can bring to your life.

Which it does in a way, I’ve had many positive things come from all those opportunities.

But saying yes comes at a price.

Last year my appendix burst and I was so convinced that it was just food poisoning. I was so determined to keep going with my life that I left seeking proper medical help until it was too late.

So to balance out my eager ‘yes’ lifestyle – I started saying no to things. Unless I really really like the sound of something I say no. Read more

The Productivity Hangup You Probably Have Too

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lady drinksA few weeks ago I was invited to a dinner party to celebrate my book Listful Thinking.  My friend and colleague Joya Dass runs a women’s networking group called LadyDrinks and hosted the event.  

So I was thrilled when she asked me to recreate the magic with an afternoon tea theme in Princeton, NJ.  (You know how much I love tea if you read this blog regularly! So I was all in on this.)

Most of the women at the tea were professional moms who juggle careers in industries ranging from technology to medicine. They all had one question – “How can you balance everything?”

It’s not easy, I struggle with this too and it’s only me and my husband at this point!  

One of the pitfalls and mindset issues I noticed coming up time and time again as we went around the room chatting was the idea of setting boundaries. I think mothers who work outside of the home tend to feel guilty about not spending enough time with their families. And then they feel guilty about not working enough when they are with their families.  That’s a recipe for overwhelm and disaster.  

Taking time for yourself is super important for your productivity and for your sanity.  Here’s the fix: boundaries.  Read more

Checklist to Stop Being a People Pleaser

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peopleI like making people happy.

I like giving people good news and helping them when they’re stuck with something.

The problem is, you can’t please everyone and sometimes being a people pleaser has negative side effects.

When you’re always trying to please you can feel like your just saying yes automatically. Helping your friends starts to feel like a burden. And then you can get resentful, eeek!

Here’s a checklist to help you control your people pleasing ways and take back your time:

1. Remember you don’t have to do it – When someone asks for something, before you say yes, stop and take a moment to think, “Do I actually want to do this?” Don’t say yes to invitations you know you’ll regret later.

2. The world won’t end if you say no – Try it. The next request you get — just say no. You’ll quickly notice that everything isn’t falling down around you. A no is not the end of a friendship. If you can’t do something, or if you don’t want to – the majority of people will understand.  If they don’t then maybe that’s a friendship to reevaluate.

3. Make yourself the priority – It’s fine to help people if you have the time. But don’t push important things off your to do list to accommodate someone else.  Also think about the projects and priorities you have cooking – can you put them on the back burner? Keep appointments you’ve made with yourself to get things done.  You’ll be happy you did.

4. Set limits – If you offer to help a friend move, set a time limit and stick to it. For example, tell them you can help between 2pm and 3pm. This way you’re not compromising your whole day and you still get to be a good friend.

5. Don’t make excuses – You don’t have to justify your actions to others. If you can’t do it, you can’t do it.  Just say that and say it as quickly as possible so the person can move on and make other plans.

Are you a people pleaser? What are some of your tactics for saying no?