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“There were no words left, we’d said them all.” – Carrie Bradshaw, Sex & The City 

This line is iconic if you’re a fan of the show. You’ll remember it well as the time that Carrie and Mr. Big broke up for what we all thought was the last time. It was painful and powerful. It’s when she realized their relationship was really over. 

Now I look at these words with new meaning. 

Sadly, on October 16, 2025 at 3:21pm ET my dear best friend and soul sister, Nicole Feldman died. 

Nothing went unsaid between us. 

Nicole fought various cancers for more than five years. She beat each one time and again. Even the doctors were stunned. Until she couldn’t anymore. She battled breast (2020), cervical (2022), pancreatic (2023), and finally metastasized pancreatic cancer to the abdominal wall (2024 – 2025).

Nicole and I went to college together, lost touch for nine years and randomly ran into each other when Eataly in NYC opened! What a wonderful moment! We’ve been super close ever since – and luckily our husbands get along and love the same music so we’ve traveled all over the world together.  

This picture is from Sorrento in October 1, 2024 – nearly one year to the day before Nicole died. We visited the Amalfi coast together in 2013 and vowed to return because we went in March, which is not the best time because of the weather! We got there 11 years later. We’re wearing matching earrings. The earrings I had picked for “Nicole’s Virtual Hug Club.” It’s a group I put together when she was going through her third round of chemo to support her. It was a WhatsApp group with special women in her life who all wore the same earrings to bring her luck and healing with each chemo treatment. 

I’m fortunate that I went to LA to spend time with her and her husband Peter weeks before she had to leave us. She was hurting and struggling but we still managed to have fun in between. We captured some “cotton candy moments” that were so sweet and fleeted too quickly.

I told her we are in the “Cotton Candy Time.” 

Just like cotton candy, we grabbed the sweet pieces when we could and we savored them because they melted away quickly. It helped us to stay in the moment and enjoy each other during what we knew would be our final times together.

This trip to LA was difficult but also rewarding. Her body was shutting down right in front of us and we refused to admit defeat. But we both knew. I asked her questions about her life and what she wanted to happen after she died. It was a gift that we are both planners and could really rifle through a checklist together. 

I got to be helpful to her and her husband at a time when nothing makes sense. I made lists and helped to organize her medications. With the help of my dear friend Sharon, who is a functional medicine health coach, we reworked Nicole’s eating schedule and foods she could digest more easily. 

Nicole and I turned it into a game. She has always been a foodie and a fan of any show about high-end cuisine like The Bear. We used all the industry terms for her meals like “amuse bouche” for her snacks, and “hands” when the food was ready to be served. 

There were times when she was too sleepy to talk and others when she was directing me how to fold a fitted sheet while laying in bed! She even showed me how to do a proper plie squat! She was a ballerina once. 

We watched her favorite daytime television show, The Price Is Right! She got to be a contestant on the show twice and was a very enthusiastic contestant! She never made it to the Plinko game though, which would have been amazing. 

We watched The Kelly Clarkson Show and Alanis Morrisette was the guest. We’ve always loved her. I got us tickets to see her a few summers ago and Nicole couldn’t go because of a work thing. I was always sad we didn’t get to see her together. But this was better – it was a private concert just for us with our favorite songs.  

We even got to watch Dirty Dancing, one of our all time favorite movies, one more time together. We danced (in bed) and sang too. And laughed. We laughed so much. So with all the sadness there was also sweetness. But it faded and went fast. 

I hope the cotton candy image sticks with you and you remember to savor the good wherever you are. Take the trip. Make the call. Do the thing. This is what Nicole would always say. And she’s right. You never know what tomorrow will bring. 

Before she died, I asked her how I would know she’s visiting me. She said she’ll come back as a butterfly. And wouldn’t you believe it…I have been seeing them everywhere! I know she’s with me and I savor the cotton candy moments we still share. 

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