Solo Adventures Are the New Social Trend

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I’ve taken a purposeful step back from social media. I still share there, of course. It’s hard to be an entrepreneur and author without having a footprint to show for your efforts and to remind people you exist. I realize that to build a brand people need to know, like and trust you. I get it. I teach it. But I also want to invite you to join me in thinking about what we can gain by being more attentive to a slower, quieter way of living.

I still share personal stuff, of course. But not as much as I used to. I reserve a lot of it for my email list, where it feels a bit more intimate. Or the good old fashioned way of texting with just a select few close friends and family one by one! And it’s not for any other reason than I want to enjoy the moment for myself with the people who feel close.

I want to share only with a handful of people what kind of nail polish I’m thinking of painting (Your Mani Looks Good In Those Jeans.) Or how my pumpkin banana muffins turned out (delish, by the way.) Or what daily tarot card I pulled. Today I pulled the Lovers card, which can mean romance — or it can mean a perfect match. And as I think through my words here I’m realizing that it’s me. I’m my perfect match sometimes. I love being by myself and being alone.

I realize that’s not the norm for a lot of people. I read this great article in Real Simple magazine, “Alone but Not Lonely: The Science of Solitude” and it says a 2014 study found people would rather endure physical pain than spend time alone with their thoughts. Wow, that’s extreme.

Being alone doesn’t come easily to everyone. If you give it a try, though, you might be surprised by how peaceful it can feel to be alone. I love having a meal on my own, watching a movie solo, or reading quietly by myself. That’s when I can actually calm myself down from scrolling social media to relax and not be checking on what everyone else is doing. Comparison is the thief of joy and we’re all a work in progress.

I started a blog before anyone knew what it was. I had a platform before anyone needed one. And now I want some quiet just for me. I’m not saying I’m going to get off of social media all together — no way. I still love sharing there and seeing what people are up to. But I feel a shift, in myself, in the world: a shift inward.

In the Real Simple article, there is a distinction between being lonely and being alone. This is very important. The article suggests making a conscious effort to separate the two. Loneliness is what might keep you from seeking solitude. But if you reframe it and think of it as a positive thing that you deserve then it will be easier to embrace it.

I invite you to join me. You don’t have to go all in at once. Try doing more things out in the world by yourself. So often if we can’t find someone to go with us we abandon the idea. But actually, solo adventures can be incredibly rewarding.

There’s another article I read in Prevention called, “Embrace Time Alone,” which zeros in on the ways being solo can be empowering. It suggests making a date with yourself and making a list (love that!) of all the things that you could do solo and putting them on your calendar.

If you’ve read Julia Cameron’s The Artist’s Way, this might seem familiar to you. She suggests going on “artist dates” with yourself for inspiration and creativity.

Go to a museum to see an exhibit on your own. It’s okay to like things that no one else likes. Lean into it and feed that interest. Look at the exhibits at your local museums or galleries and plan a day to wander and explore — solo.

Color. I’m a big fan of coloring! It’s relaxing and meditative. I have The Tarot Coloring Book and colored pencils that have helped me learn the cards. I can do it for 10 minutes or an hour. There are so many great adult coloring books out there with all kinds of themes. You might be surprised at how long it holds your attention!

Go to the bookstore. Bookstores are a great place to wander around — no one will likely try to talk to you! You can also do the same thing at your local library.

Take a class. Taking a class is a great way to expand your knowledge and nurture your creativity. Writing classes and art classes are likely offered by local organizations or colleges in your area. This is what I did with my tarot card class – no one I knew wanted to do it with me so I did it myself! Challenge yourself to go alone and see how it feels.

Go to a lecture. Bookstores, libraries, and local universities often host lectures from visiting authors and experts on a wide variety of topics. Take yourself out to lunch or dinner and then head over to a lecture. This is a great way to also try out a new restaurant!

How are you going to recharge, explore, and grow through solo time?

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