Checklist For Being A Good Friend

Some of my favorite people – fictional and non-fictional – are best friends.

  • Oprah and Gayle
  • Dorothy, Blanche, Rose and Sophia
  • Lucy and Ethel
  • Ben Affleck and Matt Damon
  • Laverne and Shirley
  • Pooh and Piglet

Some of them are best friends because clever writers fabricated their lives that way but some are the real things. The bond that all of these famous friends have in common is the love they share for their best friends. When we get busy and other things get in our way – it’s easy to become a less-than-fabulous friend. But never fear – I have a checklist on how to be a good friend always.

Listen: Just listen. Sometimes that’s all anyone wants – is just to be heard. Oprah taught me that. People don’t need your opinion or your judgments all the time. Sometimes all anyone wants is just to vent. Really hear what your friend is saying by stopping to listen.

Show Up: For breakups and manicures a like — be there. Be the friend who can always be counted on to show up, no matter what. Your friends will appreciate this act of kindness and love. It’s not always easy to sacrifice your job or your spouse – but within reason – do it. It will make your friendship stronger.

Tell the Truth: Oprah always asks this question of best friends, “Does she tell you the truth?” Truth and honesty are the foundation of a good friendship. Without it – there’s no point…and you would have spent 200 bucks on jeans that made your butt look big. But seriously – know when to tell the truth and know when to spare your friends feelings for the better of the relationship. It’s a tricky dance.

Be Loyal: I’m good at this one. I’m a Leo – this is what we do. But for non-Leos…it’s easy enough. Stick by your friend in good times and bad. Ask yourself what you would want done for you if the roles were reversed.

Show You Care: Write a quick email or send a card just because. It doesn’t have to be a birthday or anniversary – it can just be Tuesday. Friends love getting (and giving) gifts and knowing that they mean something to you. So whether it’s a phone call, a card, a hug or just remembering her birthday – let your best friend know she matters. Everyone likes to hear “Thank You For Being A Friend,” from time to time.


9 replies
  1. Laura DeAngelis
    Laura DeAngelis says:

    What a wonderful list! I know I couldn’t have gotten through some very tough times without my BFF, so thank you for reminding me how to return the favor. (And love the picture of you and Danielle, too!)

  2. Danielle
    Danielle says:

    This picture still makes me laugh! We just crack ourselves up! Thank you for this checklist. I pledge to adhere to all of the above – and now the blogosphere can hold me accountable. 🙂 Thank you for being a friend.


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