Tag Archive for: Friendship

Be More Productive With An Accountability Buddy

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friendsIn 1898 Norman Triplett conducted a study measuring the speed of cyclists. He noticed that when the cyclists’ speeds were faster when racing against each other rather than against the clock alone. He then replicated this study with people of all different ages, doing all different tasks. The results where always the same.

We perform much better when in the presence of others.

Accountability works very similarly. We are more likely to complete a goal if we are held accountable to it by others. So how can you get started? Here are some high-tech and lo-tech solutions: Read more

Checklist to Stop Being a People Pleaser

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peopleI like making people happy.

I like giving people good news and helping them when they’re stuck with something.

The problem is, you can’t please everyone and sometimes being a people pleaser has negative side effects.

When you’re always trying to please you can feel like your just saying yes automatically. Helping your friends starts to feel like a burden. And then you can get resentful, eeek!

Here’s a checklist to help you control your people pleasing ways and take back your time:

1. Remember you don’t have to do it – When someone asks for something, before you say yes, stop and take a moment to think, “Do I actually want to do this?” Don’t say yes to invitations you know you’ll regret later.

2. The world won’t end if you say no – Try it. The next request you get — just say no. You’ll quickly notice that everything isn’t falling down around you. A no is not the end of a friendship. If you can’t do something, or if you don’t want to – the majority of people will understand.  If they don’t then maybe that’s a friendship to reevaluate.

3. Make yourself the priority – It’s fine to help people if you have the time. But don’t push important things off your to do list to accommodate someone else.  Also think about the projects and priorities you have cooking – can you put them on the back burner? Keep appointments you’ve made with yourself to get things done.  You’ll be happy you did.

4. Set limits – If you offer to help a friend move, set a time limit and stick to it. For example, tell them you can help between 2pm and 3pm. This way you’re not compromising your whole day and you still get to be a good friend.

5. Don’t make excuses – You don’t have to justify your actions to others. If you can’t do it, you can’t do it.  Just say that and say it as quickly as possible so the person can move on and make other plans.

Are you a people pleaser? What are some of your tactics for saying no?

Using Social Media To Get Social In Person

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Socializing

(Photo credit: zerok)

This new social media age has made friendships and dating more and more digital. With it being as simple as being able to post a photo for many people to see, to being able to send instagram messages on computer, staying in touch and interacting with followers may not be as tough as some may think. Social media may not be for everyone though.

The “social” aspect of being social is quickly diminishing. Don’t get me wrong I love my technology and apps as you know – but face-to-face communication shouldn’t go out of style. And this is coming from a person who loves alone time. Friendships are so important for your mind, body, and soul. Here are just a few benefits:

1. Great support system: Having friends at your side means you always have someone to lean on. In good times and bad you have someone there for you.

2. Happiness: Good friends equal good company. What is better than having a BFF to gossip with, watch chick flicks, or share a bottle of wine over some laughs? Friends can brighten your day and just make you happier.

3. Good for Your Health: Many studies have shown that having close friends or relationships can help your cardiovascular health and lower levels of cortisol (stress hormones). Check out more health benefits here

Now I’m not saying to throw away social media – in fact, I can give you the best of both worlds! Here are a few social media sites that actually get you to be social outside of online but before looking at them, let’s talk about how to build social platforms up, you can actually build them up using professionals such as a social media accounts manager. They will help you by growing your instagram for instance, and this will bring people to your site by using relevant hashtags, putting up snappy captions and taking amazing photographs, of course this is just the basics of social media marketing and they are there to help with all of the complicated stuff! There are so many interesting sites to look at…

Girlfriend Circles: This site connects like-minded local women with one another to create friendships. This is great for people who have just moved into an area, or are just looking for some girlfriends to get coffee and lunch with! You can search through member profiles and join “connecting circles.” They also post scheduled events to meet up with other women.

Tawify: Online dating can be more social too! This site is like Millionaire Matchmaker but without the “millions”. The new online dating site allows you to skip out on all the profile searching and has a “personal concierge” do all the work for you! Once you sign up, you fill out a short questionnaire and they will set you up with your dating agent who you meet in person. Make sure you fill out the questionnaire as truthfully as you can, it’s important you don’t try and change who you are. Your agent will then find your best matches and set up your dates for you. This is a cool spin on the typical dating site because the agent will be able to get to know you and find the perfect person for you.

Meetup: This is where I first started my “Lists and Libations” group. A group for list lovers who meet at bars in NYC and talk all things productivity. You really can find a group for any interest on this site. From cooking buffs to book lovers — you’ll find “your people” and be able to meetup off line.

How do you think you’d benefit from having more friends and actually meeting up in person more often?