Tag Archive for: relationships

The Payoff of Being Anti-Social for a Month

alone-1031338_640At the beginning of December I took a stand and took the month off from networking and going to events.

I was drained.  

I normally really enjoy going to these kinds of events, so when I started to dread them — I realized it was time for a break.

As part of my anti-social plan, my husband Jay and I went to Puerto Rico, back to the resort where we got married 7 years ago for a little relaxation.

I set myself the challenge of doing absolutely no work while I was there. It was amazing to just lay on the beach and enjoy the moment!

When we returned and people asked me to meet up for tea or dinners after work this December I replied simply, “I’m sorry, I’m not available.”   Read more

Why Quitters Always Win

Quitting-credit-iStock-450515949-630x418

Photo credit: iStock

It’s a common misconception that quitting is easy.

In fact, quitting can be quite difficult due to how we view our investment of time. The more we put into something, the less likely we are to quit. Because if we quit then we feel as though those resources have been wasted.

It’s why people keep playing the lottery week after week, despite the fact that you’re more likely to be struck by lightning twice than win! Quitting comes with the constant paranoia that once you stop playing your numbers will come up. Isn’t that the worst feeling ever?

All that said — not only am I telling you it’s OK to quit, I’m also going to give you some tips on how to do it right: Read more

Checklist to Stop Being a People Pleaser

peopleI like making people happy.

I like giving people good news and helping them when they’re stuck with something.

The problem is, you can’t please everyone and sometimes being a people pleaser has negative side effects.

When you’re always trying to please you can feel like your just saying yes automatically. Helping your friends starts to feel like a burden. And then you can get resentful, eeek!

Here’s a checklist to help you control your people pleasing ways and take back your time:

1. Remember you don’t have to do it – When someone asks for something, before you say yes, stop and take a moment to think, “Do I actually want to do this?” Don’t say yes to invitations you know you’ll regret later.

2. The world won’t end if you say no – Try it. The next request you get — just say no. You’ll quickly notice that everything isn’t falling down around you. A no is not the end of a friendship. If you can’t do something, or if you don’t want to – the majority of people will understand.  If they don’t then maybe that’s a friendship to reevaluate.

3. Make yourself the priority – It’s fine to help people if you have the time. But don’t push important things off your to do list to accommodate someone else.  Also think about the projects and priorities you have cooking – can you put them on the back burner? Keep appointments you’ve made with yourself to get things done.  You’ll be happy you did.

4. Set limits – If you offer to help a friend move, set a time limit and stick to it. For example, tell them you can help between 2pm and 3pm. This way you’re not compromising your whole day and you still get to be a good friend.

5. Don’t make excuses – You don’t have to justify your actions to others. If you can’t do it, you can’t do it.  Just say that and say it as quickly as possible so the person can move on and make other plans.

Are you a people pleaser? What are some of your tactics for saying no?

How to Lift Your Spirits After the Holidays

liftspiritsI’ve really enjoyed my holidays this year. It was fun to relax with family, eat good food and watch new movies. (St. Vincent is amazing!) But now it’s back to cold, dark days and work. I love my job, but even I struggled with going back this year.

So how can we keep ourselves motivated now that the ‘fun’ part of winter is over? Here’s a list on how to have a good time while getting back to the grind.

Party More – A friend of mine recently told me that her New Year’s resolution was to say yes to more cocktail party invites. Isn’t that brilliant? Sometimes we get caught up thinking we’re too busy to go to something, or nervous that we won’t know anyone there. In reality every new person you meet is a new opportunity. So get out there more for 2015! Read more

The New Year’s List Every Dater Should Have

fireworksOne of the worst things about being single over the holiday period is that almost everyone wants to know about who you are (or aren’t) dating. Every holiday party is a minefield of endless questions and patronising advice. For those of you feeling down and out about dating this New Year’s I’ve asked my friend Terri Trespicio to write a dating checklist. Terri is a lifestyle expert and dating coach. Her checklist below is also great for people who looking to get out more – perhaps your a little shy about networking? Terri’s list will help boost your confidence for 2015. Read more