Pushing Past Personal Boundaries
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Raise your hand for me if you feel you’re up new and different, but then you stop yourself before you start. It happens to a lot of us.
We make excuses. Maybe it’s your age, or your lifestyle, or you’re just set in your ways. Whatever your excuse is, it’s just holding you back.
So, if you want to get out there and “live your best life”, as Oprah would say, you have to push past your personal boundaries.
So I invited author, speaker, performance coach, podcast host, and DJ, Petra Kolber on my live-streaming show Inside Scoop, to chat about why it’s important (and never too late) to push past your personal boundaries.
Here are four ways to push past what’s holding you back.
1) Identify What’s Stopping You. (a.k.a. What You’re Afraid Of)
When we avoid doing something it’s usually because we’re afraid. Think about your to-do list. That task you’re always putting off? You’re probably procrastinating because you’re afraid of something.
The same is true for the new goal on your list.
“Our brain is designed to keep us safe. So to go past our boundary is going against everything that our brain is telling us to do,” Petra said.
We avoid trying something new because we want to be one hundred percent sure that things are going to work out. Unfortunately, that’s not possible. We won’t know if we’re going to be successful until we’re doing it.
And though it’s scary to start, “the minute you push it away, it gives it more power in your mind,” Petra explained.
2) Talk to Your Fear.
If pushing your fear away and putting your goals off makes it scarier, the only thing left to do is to address it.
Get curious about your fear. Ask yourself, “Why am I feeling so anxious about this particular thing I want to do? Why is it bringing up so much fear? What’s the thought underneath the fear?” Petra suggests.
And then you get a choice. You can decide to push past the fear. Or stay in your comfort zone yearning for the thing that feels too out of reach. “The learning is in never knowing. Which sucks.” Petra said. But the reward of pushing past your boundaries can be amazing.
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3) Practice Resilience.
Whether pushing past your personal boundaries means launching a business or learning to paint for fun, don’t expect massive success right away. So resilience is key.
“You strengthen your resilience muscle, by going through hard times. It means learning the skills for when that fear comes in that could really throw you off the rails,” Petra said. It means being your best self not only in the good times but the hard times as well. And if you’re really pushing past your boundaries, you will have good and bad days.
Even practiced boundary pushers have bad days. Sign up for Petra’s Backstage Pass to all see her good and bad days unfold while she travels for her newest book (and learn what to do and what to avoid in your own travels).
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4) Don’t Wait to Be Confident to Start.
Now is the time. Today is the day to start. If you wait to feel ready, you’ll never begin. “It’s easy to feel courageous when things are going well. We wait for confidence to arrive upon us, for self-esteem to suddenly arrive, for courage to, and it doesn’t,” Petra said.
Confidence arrives after you do something you’re afraid of. “Say yes and then figure it out,” Petra said. This will teach you to be less afraid the next time you want to try something new because you’ll know you were able to push past one of your boundaries before.
For more check out Petra’s first book The Perfection Detox and watch our entire conversation here.
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BONUS FREEBIE: Want even more ways to stay organized, productive and less stressed? Click here to get access to my List-Making Starter Kit. It will boost your efficiency and get you back to doing more of the things you love.
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